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Putting an End to the “Disease to Please”

Last summer I was in a dark place. Life kept hitting me–hard–to the point where I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, much less keep summoning my will to live.

My sole intention was simply to STAY ALIVE. Not to open my heart. Not to be a better person. Not to further my work in the world. Just to survive.

No matter how wretched I felt each day, as long as I lived to see the end of it, I succeeded.

I’m no stranger to depression. It runs in my family, and there have been a few times in my life when it’s really taken me down.

Like I can see the ominous storm clouds moving over the foothills outside my living room windows before a thunderstorm, I’ve always felt the flat heaviness of depression coming towards me.

I’m grateful that I’ve cultivated a strong support system to lean on and that my will to live has always triumphed in the end. I know this isn’t the case for everyone and I don’t take these things for granted.

While even the thought of depression summons a feeling of dread in my belly, I have come to appreciate some of the lessons this last round brought me.

It taught me deeper levels of resilience and humanity.

It taught me how to be strong enough to keep getting up each day, no matter what I was thinking or feeling–or how I looked (all big ones for us women).

It taught me to lower my standards for who or how I need to be in order to show up.

Rather than following the mantra for recovering perfectionists that “good is good enough,” I took it down even a few notches further to “not good at all is good enough.”

It taught me to redefine and deepen my commitment– to myself, my purpose, and life.

It taught me that, no matter how many times I fail and fall down, I am not a failure.

But the only reason why I learned these lessons was because I knew that they were mine to learn.

No friendly advice could get me through that shadowy stretch. No intuitive consultation or astrological reading. Only me, listening to me – while being loved unconditionally by the people around me.

This, my friends, is the birthplace of powerful, feminine leadership.

It comes from the intimate dialogue with your innermost being as you learn to midwife yourself through life’s impasses.

When we hit rocky roads– inner and outer– is when we’re most going to want to lean on the advice of “experts.” But, as I recently heard a wise person say, “Advice is the devil.”

And I would have to agree.

Leadership comes from taking refuge in your inner wisdom. It asks us to source guidance from ourselves, and then to trust the path we’re shown.

Unfortunately, this approach is the exact opposite of the one we’ve been encouraged to follow our whole lives.

In today’s SHE Talk, I explore this in more depth.



This talk was recorded mid-way through the last SHE Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training in Thailand.

In it, I speak about:

  • How to stop worrying about what other people think
  • The yogic breathing exercise that Brené Brown uses with her family to calm anxiety and overwhelm
  • How to get over our fear of failure
  • Breaking our addiction to stress
  • The most important quality for feminine leadership (rarely seen on social media)
  • And more

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Sisters: A daily practice that attunes you to your inner wisdom is the only way to stop desperately trying to please others and start learning to honor yourself.

Life doesn’t teach us this! But, even as adults, it’s never too late to learn this crucial lesson.

Doing so is worth it because it’s the only path to what we all want–freedom and unconditional happiness.

At The SHE Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training, you’re steeped in the education of un-learning. So you can re-learn how to trust yourself. Listen to yourself. Advocate for yourself. BE yourself.

I am not a guru. I won’t tell you what to do and how to do it. I will give you the gentle guidance and fierce encouragement to hear and follow the brilliance within you.

Whether or not you consider yourself a “yogini” or a “meditator,” this is a transmission in feminine leadership for every woman. It can be translated to boardrooms, women’s circles, parenting, classrooms, and every dimension of life where a woman’s wisdom must reign again.

Early registration ends on Monday, July 18. (We had a behind-the-scenes mix-up and previously said it ended on July 15. Sorry about that. It’s the 18th.).

If your inner wisdom is roaring (or whispering) “Yes,” here’s what to join me for this unconventional, one-of-a-kind intensive this December in Tulum, Mexico.

“This experience has been shedding layers of untruths to get to my ripe, juicy center of myself.

Give yourself this gift of being held in a safe container of the feminine to dive deep, be challenged, let go, and heal.”

Rhonda Barnhill

Virginia, USA

Enjoying these Poolside Sutras? Then you just might love spending a week together soaking up sunshine and feminine wisdom with me and a circle of like-hearted women on the beach of Tulum, Mexico.

This December, I’m offering an intimate and unconventional SHE Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training: the only training out there focused on women’s yin and flow yoga, meditation, and SHE dharma.

The creator of the world’s first Women’s Yoga Teacher Training, I’ve taught versions of this intensive over the past several years in Thailand, Hong Kong, Beijing, Dubai, Mexico, and at Kripalu. You’ve been asking me to host another intensive close to the U.S. I’ve heard you. And this is it!

Early registration– with a $200 discount– ends on Monday.

If you’re considering joining me to bring a sacred finale t0 2018— now is the best time to make your commitment to your practice, yourself, and your leadership.

Sign up for the SHE Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training (and claim your early registration discount & gifts) here.

I would be honored to welcome you home!


Hello, beautiful. I’m Sara: a teacher of feminine spiritual and empowerment, author, and founder of The Way of the Happy Woman. I’m also the leader of The SHE School and the SHE Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training. Here’s the truth: I don’t want to be your guru. But I am wholeheartedly devoted to guiding women back to their own, inner wisdom, through feminine spiritual practices, yoga, meditation, and a whole lotta love (and guts). This work is my truest calling and greatest joy. I’m so happy to have the chance to share it with you.

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